Missin' Soul

Hey Everyone!

I'm currently watching a baby monitor.

So, it's Thursday and Sky has been gone since Sunday. It's been hard on me. I'm not going to lie. I miss him. It is much harder this time around. Which is understandable. This time we did so much more than last time. We had much more together time that was not about sex. Which makes a person fall more in love... Well, at least it makes me fall more in love... I've gotten through the days better now. Monday was a hard day, but now I can get through the days without tearing up. The nights are hard though.

My bed seems empty. My arms seem misplaced. The tears come then. I have this baby beenie baby that I got when I was with Sky, and I sleep with it in my hand every night. It helps a little. It is not the same as being able to curl up next to him and feel his flesh next to mine. I got spoiled. I know this. I don't mind. I just want it back.

Last night, Sky and I were talking on the phone and I was in bed. I closed my eyes, pretending he was next to me. It worked for a moment. I could almost smell him [although that might have been the aroma from one of the shirts I have of his]. Then the moment came back to me. I realized he was hundreds of miles away. I broke down a bit. But he knows just the way to make me feel better. I was done crying within two minutes because he had calmed me.

So, I am going a little crazy about this crying thing. I hate crying. I used to never cry at anything in real life. Oh sure, give me a good sappy movie, and the tears will come, but never at real life things. However, now I cry so fricken much. I don't like it. However, I don't know how to stop. I used to NEVER be like this. I know it is about the distance. The tears come when I think about how is not here, or how long it'll be until I see him again. *shrugs* So I know that once we are together, all this stupid crying will finally stop. Thank goodness...

:)

Soul