Whoa, Judge much?

Hi Everyone!

I'm currently listening to Secret Crowds by Angels and Airwaves.

Okay, a three things to talk about, Stone (of course), Manhattan, and Puck.

Let's start out with the easy (?) stuff first, Stone. So, the past couple of times that I have had to work in groups in the class that Stone is in, he has worked with me. Or when one day when we were a different room and a group of his friends (he knows them and talks to them and they do a certain extra curricular activity with him, I don't know if they are great friends, but friends yes...) were sitting on the other side of the room than me, there was two open chairs by them and one by me, and he sat by ME!!! Then he always is my partner. I don't know if that is because I sit behind him and it is a convenience thing, or if he likes working with me.

Here's my thought, if he didn't like working with me, he could work with someone else close to him, RIGHT???!!!????!!?!!?? AHHGGGRRRHHHH. I am not reading into anything. Mostly because I know nothing will ever come of this. I need to keep telling myself this, because I have been devastated before, just because my feelings get involved in stupid things. Things that will never work out. Why oh why am I so cursed with these feelings?

I find myself thinking about him though. It scares me. Really scares me.

Okay, change of subject. How about another boy? Okay, so Puck and I sit next to each other (in a different class) and (Noodles' class) Noodles thinks that I like him. I would definitely date him because he is really funny and sweet, and all that jazz. How can I have these two feelings? Although I will say, I think about Puck when I am around Puck. When I am not around anyone, I think about Stone.

Noodles is so great though. I hope to do some travelling with her over the summer. She is the BEST teacher I have ever had the pleasure of learning from. She is a great person too.

Okay, now the big stuff... Manhattan. Manhattan and I have been doing great. She is definitely a big part of my life. I was talking to Noodles this morning about thinking of going to a two year college then transferring. I have many reasons for considering this. However, there is a certain expectation from people around me that I will go to a four year school. There is a certain stigma that going to a two year college gets. Which is sort of funny because one of the smartest economic decisions that you can make is to go to a two year college and transfer. ANYWAYS, I have many reasons for considering this, not to mention my two other best friends, also two of the smartest people I know, are going to a two year school first.

So back to the story, I was telling Noodles all of this and talking to her about it because I really wanted to get an outsider's opinion on it all. Well, about twenty minutes later Manhattan comes in and we were talking about something else. However, Manhattan asked about one of my friends and why I was seeing her because she is supposed to be at college. Noodles informed Manhattan that my friend had decided that the four year college that she was planning on going to didn't fit so (before she even started) she decided to go to a local two year school.

Manhattan went off, saying how she thought that my friend was smart so why was she at that two year school, and how her parents would kill her if she even thought the name of the school. I wanted to yell at her. I mean, yeah, some people go there because they can't get in other places, but hey, they are at least going to school. It's not only there for that purpose though. Noodles was shocked at how judgemental Manhattan was about it. Noodles didn't say anything about the conversation we just had, and neither did I. It was just really sucky.

=/

Soul

And guess what?!?

Hi Everyone!

I'm currently listening to So What by P!nk.

Well, what has been monopolizing most of my posts these past couple of times? That's just, Stone. It's funny because after my last boyfriend I was completely fine with just being by myself and not liking anyone. These feelings are so intense. They can't be categorized as anything other than lust... can they?

I would have never expected to fall in lust, or like, or whatever with Stone. But I guess the old adage, you can't chose who you love, is right. Although I am not in love. Let's just get that straight. I went out with Mediterranean today and I was telling her about it. She knows him so she could at least put a face with the name. I told her that I didn't expect anything to come of it then said I didn't want anything to come of it. She looked at me, I laughed, of course I want something to come out of it. That's what the humdinger is, no matter how much I know that nothing will come of it, I still want something to come of it.

Dang teenage hormones.

I was thinking about the future and life and the likes. I want to be in love. I sort of always pushed the notion aside and promised myself that love would never come into consideration in my life. Love makes you silly and do rash and stupid things. Perhaps though love isn't as bad as I once thought.

However, Puck is still in the picture. He is so sweet and who knows what goes on in his head. He is super smart and hell-a hilarious. I love being around him because he is so funny. However, I hear that he is like my ex, great friend and horrible boyfriend. I would be silly to involve myself in the same situation again. So, two boys, no choices. =)

Well, that's life, right?

=)

Soul

Senior!!!

Hi Everyone!

I'm currently listening to Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Alrighty, well as you all know I am a senior. I have developed this schoolgirl crush on a boy in one of my classes. Actually two boys, in two separate classes. However one of them is so completely wrong for me. Not in the sense that he is a bad person, as far as I know he isn't into drugs or anything bad. He actually is quite smart and very funny. I am naming him Stone. But the whole thing really is a schoolgirl crush. I feel so silly. I mean, if this was going to happen why now? Why not when I was a younger?

I stumbled across a quote though. I thought it was so spot on. It is about trying to get a woman. "Tell the smart ones they're pretty and the pretty ones they're smart". I was thinking about it and it is so true. How sad is that? I don't know... I mean, I know that I'm the same way, but I just think it is incredible saddening.

= )

Soul