Hey Everyone!
I'm currently listening to If I can't Have you by Kelly Clarkson.
64 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked...
1. First thing you wash in the shower? my hair.
2. What color is your favourite hoodie? blue
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? definitely
4. Do you plan outfits? depends
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? tired but not sleepy
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? a folder.
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Sky and I were sitting at a table and holding hands while talking. My dreams are so interesting... :P
8. Did you meet anybody new today? ummm... nope
9. What are you craving right now? sex.
10. Do you floss? I try to remember
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? my coworker of course!!!!
12. Are you emotional? yeah
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? uhhh... not that I recall
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick
15. Do you like your hair? yeppers
16. Do you like yourself? mmhmm. :D
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Definitely. I would go out with any President, that would be fascinating.
18. What are you listening to right now? Ummm, look above, Kelly Clarkson
19. Are your parents strict? hahaha
20. Would you go sky diving? never say never.
21. Do you like cottage cheese? UGH, HELL NO.
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? ummm, a famous football player.
23. Do you rent movies often? I redbox movies.
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? my diamond necklace is the closest sparkly thing.
25. How many countries have you been to? only US sadly
26. Have you made a prank phone call? oh man... yeah... funny story. [Sky, remind me to tell you that story... mortifying looking back on it]
27. Ever been on a train? yep
28. Brown or white eggs? white
29. Do you have a cell-phone? yeah.
30. Do you use chap stick? not usually
31. Do you own a gun? nope
32. Can you use chop sticks? yep, thanks to Manhattan.
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? well, "tonight" is going to be over in 21 minutes.
34. Are you too forgiving? I think I am just the right amount of forgiving.
35. Ever been in love? am currently.
36. Who is your best friend(s)? Platinum.
37. Ever have cream puffs? yeah.
38. Last time you cried? tonight. I'm such a sap.
39. What was the last question you asked? Will you text me before you go to bed?
40. Favourite time of the year? Fall.
41. Do you have any tattoos? no.
42. Are you sarcastic? sarcastic? me? never...
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? HELL YES!
44. Ever walked into a wall? hahaha, multiple times.
45. Favourite colour? midnight blue
46. Have you ever slapped someone? no, but I want to... weird want...
47. Is your hair curly? not naturally
48. What was the last CD you bought? Dark Horse- Nickelback
49. Do looks matter? not the most important thing, but you'd be lying if you said they don't matter at all.
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? no.
51. Is your phone bill sky high? nope :)
52. Do you like your life right now? heck yes, for the majority.
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? sometimes.
54. Can you handle the truth? yes
55. Do you have good vision? nope.
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? dislike, yes. Hate, no.
57. How often do you talk on the phone? every day.
58. The last person you held hands with? My youngest cousin.
59. What are you wearing? gray tank top. Victoria's Secret panties.
60. What is your favourite animal/Mammal? Dogs/cats.
61. Where was your default picture taken at? made it in photoshop
62. Can you hula hoop? not well.
63. Do you have a job? yep >.<
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? flip-flops, duck tape, something for Sky, and lotion.
:)
Soul
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Shrimp Cats!
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Because of You by Nickelback.
If I was making dinner tonight for another person and I, I think I would make some grilled shrimp and rice. Just saying... That's what I think I would want to make tonight. What to know something interesting? I only enjoy cooked shrimp. Hot off the grill/out of the fryer. I cannot stand cold shrimp. There is something about it that sets me off. I can eat a few, but I don't like it. I really don't. Interesting? Maybe not. But true.
My cat is reaaaaaaaally adorable. I am sitting at my kitchen table right now and there are four chairs. Since it is only my mom and I, we only use two (duh). My cat has taken a chair for himself. He only sits there when the sun is on the chair, but it is the cutest thing. But anyway, he is sitting on the chair laying down, and I am sitting on another chair. I don't really process that he is sitting next to me since he is just sleeping. Then he goes and rests his little paw on my leg. He's just really cute.
Cats live a long time. It's a fact, they do. My cat is young. He will be four years old next month. He's still got a good decade plus in him. Which makes me happy, because I love him. I know that in that time though I will be moving out of my mom's house. I have always wanted to take my cat with me. He is mine after all. However, thinking about things recently, I think maybe I won't take him with... Which makes me sad. I love my cat... I love cats in general. I love dogs too, but cats are smarter. Let's just be honest.
Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling that something bad is happening. I know it is silly. I know that if something bad was happening I would know, but it sometimes grips me and I can't shake it.
:(
Soul
I'm currently listening to Because of You by Nickelback.
If I was making dinner tonight for another person and I, I think I would make some grilled shrimp and rice. Just saying... That's what I think I would want to make tonight. What to know something interesting? I only enjoy cooked shrimp. Hot off the grill/out of the fryer. I cannot stand cold shrimp. There is something about it that sets me off. I can eat a few, but I don't like it. I really don't. Interesting? Maybe not. But true.
My cat is reaaaaaaaally adorable. I am sitting at my kitchen table right now and there are four chairs. Since it is only my mom and I, we only use two (duh). My cat has taken a chair for himself. He only sits there when the sun is on the chair, but it is the cutest thing. But anyway, he is sitting on the chair laying down, and I am sitting on another chair. I don't really process that he is sitting next to me since he is just sleeping. Then he goes and rests his little paw on my leg. He's just really cute.
Cats live a long time. It's a fact, they do. My cat is young. He will be four years old next month. He's still got a good decade plus in him. Which makes me happy, because I love him. I know that in that time though I will be moving out of my mom's house. I have always wanted to take my cat with me. He is mine after all. However, thinking about things recently, I think maybe I won't take him with... Which makes me sad. I love my cat... I love cats in general. I love dogs too, but cats are smarter. Let's just be honest.
Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling that something bad is happening. I know it is silly. I know that if something bad was happening I would know, but it sometimes grips me and I can't shake it.
:(
Soul
Friday, November 7, 2008
MY 100TH POST!!!
Hi Everyone!!!
I’m currently listening to New Favorite by Debra Arlyn and Every Mile a Memory by Dierks Bentley.
1. I’ve seen the Statue of Liberty.
2. Metrodad inspired me to blog.
3. I change my computer background often.
4. I constantly lose my flash drives.
5. If I could be any celebrity for a day it would be Victoria Beckham.
6. I like Britney Spears’ music.
7. I love thinking about my future, it excites me.
8. I hate the Times New Roman font.
9. I haven’t read the twilight series and really don’t plan on it.
10. I’ve never broken a bone.
11. Stone is the first boy who is really athletic that I have ever had a crush on.
12. I like it when my nails are painted but I rarely do it.
13. The Green Mile is my all time favorite movie.
14. When I am shopping with my little cousin I like to pretend he is my son to see people’s reactions.
15. My favorite candy is a tie between Almond Joys and Reese’s peanut butter cups.
16. The best number is 27.
17. Completely yellow socks creep me out.
18. I can’t drink plain coffee.
19. My favorite pair of shoes is my nike flip flops.
20. I honestly don’t think I could survive without my IPOD
21. One of my biggest accomplishments this year has been creating my own grades program.
22. My favorite color is midnight blue
23. I used to love Spongebob and my aunt doesn't understand that I don't anymore, so I still get Spongebob stuff at birthday/Xmas time.
24. I always want to live in the town I live in right now.
25. I am pretty much always cold.
26. I love budgeting.
27. I dislike onions.
28. I also dislike tomatoes.
29. Apparently I say “salsa” weirdly.
30. I have never been to a concert.
31. I don’t like caramel usually.
32. I love my mom’s sloppy joe’s and my grandma’s homemade tacos.
33. In my opinion, I swear too much. Although I do it a lot less than many people. However when I do swear, I do it properly.
34. I drink a lot of water. It’s quite a problem actually.
35. I know in my mind that sleep is just a waste of time because I could be doing so many other useful things but I love sleeping. I usually would rather be sleeping than doing what I’m doing.
36. My senior research paper will be the first research paper I write where I have actually read the book.
37. I am so scared of getting hurt.
38. I have such great creative fun ideas, but I never have the time to do them.
39. I have never been more inspired to teach than when I am around River.
40. I love doing PowerPoint presentations.
41. I love blankets. I am constantly using them. I even have one in my car…
42. I am always questioning myself and every little move I make.
43. I have such a great desire to teach it sometimes surprises me.
44. I am not counting down the days until I end high school but I am counting down the days until I never have to do physical education again.
45. I am so excited for my first home.
46. The only things I spend money on are gas and food.
47. I still miss my old personal trainer.
48. The song “Candy Shop” by 50 Cent reminds me of Flash.
49.I like wearing dresses, but I don't have too many of them. :(
50. I’m quite driven when it comes to going farther than what is expected of me.
51. Ginger is really nice and I hope that my students like me as much as I like him.
52. I am planning on doing a unit on blogging when I am a teacher.
53. I like driving.
54. I hate gas prices.
55. I only keep a small percentage of my paycheck, the part I don’t keep goes into a savings account.
56. I recently watched The Truman Show for the first time and LOVED it.
57. My favorite book of all time is 1984.
58. I love Rohl Dahl.
59. I think that everyone is good at lying about certain things.
60. I really dislike my job now that Cabbage and Flash are gone, but Twin keeps me hanging on.
61. I like feeling like I am needed.
62. I like to work alone rather than in groups even if it means more work for me because I know that I will put forth a good product to receive an A.
63. I have only had one enjoyable year of math and that was because of the amazing teacher.
64. I plan on coming back to my high school next year religiously to visit with Noodles and River.
65. I am so surprised with the amount of admiration I feel for River, usually it takes me much longer to like a teacher as much as I like him.
66. I really like the name Molly, but I don’t know anyone personally with this name.
67. I lied about being sick one day for work; it didn’t gnaw at my conscious at all.
68. I greatly dislike people who talked about themselves in the third person seriously.
69. I would really like to take a course on Greek Mythology, it is so interesting.
70. I know I need a haircut but I have no time to get one.
71. I visit postsecret.com religiously.
72. I didn’t read all of To Kill a Mockingbird
73. I really want to load the Sims game on my computer but for some reason I cannot get it to work.
74. I have over 15 gigs of music on my IPOD
75. I love grocery shopping
76. I used to write beautiful poetry, I don’t know why I don’t anymore.
77. My favorite cartoon as a child was the Magic School Bus.
78. Mediterranean is one person who I feel like I can relate to on such a different level than all my other friends.
79. I love horror films.
80. Sometimes I don’t brush my hair, I just throw it up in a ponytail.
81. I like to braid my hair.
82. Not too many girls my age can pull off pigtails, but I can.
83. I love photoshop.
84. I adore gum.
85. I love texting. I will wake up at any hour of the day if I get a text.
86. When doing projects where you need to fasten a piece of paper to a poster board I prefer to use tape over glue.
87. I always download the itunes free music on Tuesday, who turns down FREE music???
88. I want to ride an ostrich.
89. I’m a very open person. I think I have to be to write a blog…
90. I love ellipses (…)
91. I am on the computer at least for a hour every day, usually more though.
92. I love sxephil on youtube.
93. I have conversations with my cat.
94. I enjoy playing games.
95. I’m okay with spending the majority of my nights at home
96. I LOVE taking pictures but I rarely print them out.
97. I have a lot of really nice jewelry but I usually don’t wear any jewelry besides rings.
98. I don’t have the heart to tell my mom I have grown out of the Ripley’s Believe it or Not books.
99. I am usually peppy all day.
100. I have been in a New York cab, scary experience.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Good old days?
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Size Matters by Joe Nichols.
I moved the summer before 8th grade. There were a couple reasons but one of them was my history at my old school. I have worked very hard to overcome difficulties in my life and transform it to what it is today. The past couple of weeks I have felt my precious life that I have built for myself being threatened.
I wasn't always the nicest person. Quite to the contrary, I was a mean little girl. I don't blame anyone but myself for my behavior, but I do think my surroundings called upon my actions. Growing up heavy is never easy. It is hard for me to even talk about because I know that it doesn't stop, the pain that I have buried deep won't stop hurting just because I'm not in the situation anymore.
I started gaining weight in first grade/second grade. Third grade was really bad, I was double the weight I should have been and kids were getting mean. So I cried at home until I realized I needed to grow some thick skin. I admit, I was one of those people who was "cool" because people were afraid of me. People were only my friend because they knew I would create shit for them if they were mean to me. That didn't last very long though, the few friends I did have distanced themselves from me.
Not to mention with my test scores and intelligence my school wanted to put me in an accelerated program, my mom did not want this though. She said that I should make friends with a bunch of kids instead of a select few. However the kids in my class didn't like me because I was done with worksheets that took them twenty minutes in three. The kids who were in the accelerated program didn't like me because they didn't think I belonged with them.
My bratty and outright mean attitude only got me in trouble and put distance between me and everyone else. I couldn't fit in with the advance crowd, even when my mom finally gave in to the accelerated program. So, when the option was move to a different district or me probably committing suicide within two years, we moved.
We didn't move too far away, only nine miles. But the distance is really a world apart. My old neighborhood had many more impoverished where as my new neighborhood has an average income level higher than Orange County, California. (You know, OC, the county with all the reality shows about spoiled little rich kids?) I changed my attitude and found people who care about me.
Well, Manhattan and one of my other friends work together at a local hot spot, where two people from my old school just started working. I usually go there often enough to know everyone who works there and keep up on their work gossip, however since these two girls have started working I haven't gone there once. I am so afraid that these two girls will invade my precious life by telling people what I used to be like. I have changed, I am not that girl anymore. However, I am a teenager and the past is just as much a part of the present as the present is. Judgments will be made. So I keep my distance.
I was working out today with my personal trainer. Laughing and talking as we walked through the free weight area when my breath got caught in my throat. Standing over by the bench press was the boy. You girls know who I'm talking about, the boy who caught your eye through out elementary school. He was standing right there, no more than seven feet away from me. I couldn't breathe, not because any feelings came back, but because this was MY GYM! Why can't they all just leave me alone? The scariest thing? The boy was wearing a school spirit shirt FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL! I am so frightened... what if he comes to my school next year? I just want them all to stay in their own town. I'll stay in mine...
= (
Soul
I'm currently listening to Size Matters by Joe Nichols.
I moved the summer before 8th grade. There were a couple reasons but one of them was my history at my old school. I have worked very hard to overcome difficulties in my life and transform it to what it is today. The past couple of weeks I have felt my precious life that I have built for myself being threatened.
I wasn't always the nicest person. Quite to the contrary, I was a mean little girl. I don't blame anyone but myself for my behavior, but I do think my surroundings called upon my actions. Growing up heavy is never easy. It is hard for me to even talk about because I know that it doesn't stop, the pain that I have buried deep won't stop hurting just because I'm not in the situation anymore.
I started gaining weight in first grade/second grade. Third grade was really bad, I was double the weight I should have been and kids were getting mean. So I cried at home until I realized I needed to grow some thick skin. I admit, I was one of those people who was "cool" because people were afraid of me. People were only my friend because they knew I would create shit for them if they were mean to me. That didn't last very long though, the few friends I did have distanced themselves from me.
Not to mention with my test scores and intelligence my school wanted to put me in an accelerated program, my mom did not want this though. She said that I should make friends with a bunch of kids instead of a select few. However the kids in my class didn't like me because I was done with worksheets that took them twenty minutes in three. The kids who were in the accelerated program didn't like me because they didn't think I belonged with them.
My bratty and outright mean attitude only got me in trouble and put distance between me and everyone else. I couldn't fit in with the advance crowd, even when my mom finally gave in to the accelerated program. So, when the option was move to a different district or me probably committing suicide within two years, we moved.
We didn't move too far away, only nine miles. But the distance is really a world apart. My old neighborhood had many more impoverished where as my new neighborhood has an average income level higher than Orange County, California. (You know, OC, the county with all the reality shows about spoiled little rich kids?) I changed my attitude and found people who care about me.
Well, Manhattan and one of my other friends work together at a local hot spot, where two people from my old school just started working. I usually go there often enough to know everyone who works there and keep up on their work gossip, however since these two girls have started working I haven't gone there once. I am so afraid that these two girls will invade my precious life by telling people what I used to be like. I have changed, I am not that girl anymore. However, I am a teenager and the past is just as much a part of the present as the present is. Judgments will be made. So I keep my distance.
I was working out today with my personal trainer. Laughing and talking as we walked through the free weight area when my breath got caught in my throat. Standing over by the bench press was the boy. You girls know who I'm talking about, the boy who caught your eye through out elementary school. He was standing right there, no more than seven feet away from me. I couldn't breathe, not because any feelings came back, but because this was MY GYM! Why can't they all just leave me alone? The scariest thing? The boy was wearing a school spirit shirt FROM MY HIGH SCHOOL! I am so frightened... what if he comes to my school next year? I just want them all to stay in their own town. I'll stay in mine...
= (
Soul
Thursday, June 12, 2008
What I want in a guy...
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Won't Go Home without you by Maroon 5
-I just want someone who knows what I'm feeling by just looking at me (this can be attained by just knowing me for a while)
-I want someone who will sing to me no matter how bad his voice is
-I want someone who just dances with me
-I want someone who is constantly kissing me and hugging me and holds my hand
-I want someone who can make me smile by just giving me a look
-I want someone who genuinely gets along with my mom
-I want someone who knows all my favorites (such as my favorite flower is lilies)
-I want someone who is taller than me (which is easy because I'm only 5' 1")
- I want someone who will never cheat on me
-I want someone who I can always trust
-I want someone who makes me laugh and has a good sense of humor.
-I want someone who is intelligent.
-I want someone who reads.
-I want someone who loves music.
-I want someone who asks about my cousins (they are very important to me).
-I want someone who doesn't mind it when I'm wearing jeans and a hoodie.
-I want someone who calls me at midnight on my birthday so they can be the first person to say happy birthday.
-I want someone who I can just walk and talk with.
-I want someone who has the ability to break my heart and hurt me so badly but would never dream of it.
-I want someone who will do goofy things with me and not care what anyone else says or thinks.
-I want someone who doesn't care how much I talk.
-I want someone who doesn't mind that I cry at almost every movie.
-I want someone who will go to the beach with me and watch the sunset.
-I want someone who I can tell all my secrets to and know they'll never judge me.
-I want someone who will walk in the rain with me.
-I want someone who will let me cuddle with him when we are watching a movie, out at a restaurant, or anywhere.
-I just want someone who will love me for want I am, not what people tell them I am.
-I just want someone who will take the time to really get to know me.
I'm currently listening to Won't Go Home without you by Maroon 5
-I just want someone who knows what I'm feeling by just looking at me (this can be attained by just knowing me for a while)
-I want someone who will sing to me no matter how bad his voice is
-I want someone who just dances with me
-I want someone who is constantly kissing me and hugging me and holds my hand
-I want someone who can make me smile by just giving me a look
-I want someone who genuinely gets along with my mom
-I want someone who knows all my favorites (such as my favorite flower is lilies)
-I want someone who is taller than me (which is easy because I'm only 5' 1")
- I want someone who will never cheat on me
-I want someone who I can always trust
-I want someone who makes me laugh and has a good sense of humor.
-I want someone who is intelligent.
-I want someone who reads.
-I want someone who loves music.
-I want someone who asks about my cousins (they are very important to me).
-I want someone who doesn't mind it when I'm wearing jeans and a hoodie.
-I want someone who calls me at midnight on my birthday so they can be the first person to say happy birthday.
-I want someone who I can just walk and talk with.
-I want someone who has the ability to break my heart and hurt me so badly but would never dream of it.
-I want someone who will do goofy things with me and not care what anyone else says or thinks.
-I want someone who doesn't care how much I talk.
-I want someone who doesn't mind that I cry at almost every movie.
-I want someone who will go to the beach with me and watch the sunset.
-I want someone who I can tell all my secrets to and know they'll never judge me.
-I want someone who will walk in the rain with me.
-I want someone who will let me cuddle with him when we are watching a movie, out at a restaurant, or anywhere.
-I just want someone who will love me for want I am, not what people tell them I am.
-I just want someone who will take the time to really get to know me.
Anything you think I'm missing? What do you want? Comments?
=)
Soul
Saturday, June 7, 2008
My Father
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to What Hurts the Most (Radio Mix US) by Cascada.
So, my father has been weighing on my mind lately, well for a day or two. On the common application for colleges they ask you about your parent's status. I had to write divorced then deceased for my father. My father died five years ago now. I was in seventh grade. It is still strange to think about. I couldn't really talk about it, not because it hurt, but because no one would understand.
A lot of people say that no one will understand or something like that. Here's the thing though, I wasn't hurting over the fact that he died. I know that sounds bad, but I wasn't. Well, now I sound like a bitch, let me explain...
Background Story...
I was two years old when my mom divorced my dad. He wanted me but my mom got custody, he got visitation rights every other weekend. One catch though was the fact that my grandparents or mom had to be there too. In other words, he wasn't allowed to be alone with me. Most of time it was just my grandparent's and me every other weekend. He wasn't reliable. My grandparent's ended up moving out of state a couple of years after my parent's got divorced. My dad wanted visitation, just me and him. My mom said no, rightly so.
My dad was into some pretty bad illegal stuff. He constantly jumped from job to job. He was the epitome of a dead beat dad. He left the state, without telling anyone, for a couple of years. He would call me every single birthday though. No matter how messed up he was, I would always get that phone call.
Well, he came back into the state where I live and, of course, he wanted to see me. I said no, I didn't want to. I didn't know him... Well fast forward a couple of years. I started talking to him on the phone to establish a relationship. We decided to meet at a crowded safe place, a McDonalds. My mom and I went to that McDonalds, and waited, and waited, and waited. My heartbroke as I finished my McMeal and he wasn't there. I cried. We went home after waiting for two hours. The phone was ringing as soon as we entered our home. It was him. He was waiting a different McDonalds on the same street, just a different corner. Instead of being an adult and planning it for the next weekend, he yelled and screamed. He essentially scared me shitless. I stopped contact.
A couple of years later I saw him at my baby cousin's first birthday party. It was my first time seeing him in years. I decided it was time to keep in contact. I was getting ready to ask him if he wanted to meet. One night he called me, my mom and I were watching the Scooby Doo movie. He sounded different, far away. My mom got on the phone and heard that he was high and told him never to call me again when he was in that state. I didn't say "I love you". Two days later my dad killed himself. He was trying to overdose the night he called me but had such a high tolerance to drugs that he literally couldn't OD.
End of Background Story.
While I was sad that I never got to really know my dad, I never really got to know him, so how could I miss him? I didn't cry. I never got to know my father, I couldn't really mourn him. To this day I don't really notice, to me it's just like he's not calling once again. People tell me they are sorry for my loss. I used to say "I'm not" when they would say that, but now I just realize it's just something people say to make themselves feel better when I tell them I lost a parent.
I just figured out for myself though that I am sorry too though. Not because he died, but because I never got to know my father. For that I am truly sorry.
= I
Soul
I'm currently listening to What Hurts the Most (Radio Mix US) by Cascada.
So, my father has been weighing on my mind lately, well for a day or two. On the common application for colleges they ask you about your parent's status. I had to write divorced then deceased for my father. My father died five years ago now. I was in seventh grade. It is still strange to think about. I couldn't really talk about it, not because it hurt, but because no one would understand.
A lot of people say that no one will understand or something like that. Here's the thing though, I wasn't hurting over the fact that he died. I know that sounds bad, but I wasn't. Well, now I sound like a bitch, let me explain...
Background Story...
I was two years old when my mom divorced my dad. He wanted me but my mom got custody, he got visitation rights every other weekend. One catch though was the fact that my grandparents or mom had to be there too. In other words, he wasn't allowed to be alone with me. Most of time it was just my grandparent's and me every other weekend. He wasn't reliable. My grandparent's ended up moving out of state a couple of years after my parent's got divorced. My dad wanted visitation, just me and him. My mom said no, rightly so.
My dad was into some pretty bad illegal stuff. He constantly jumped from job to job. He was the epitome of a dead beat dad. He left the state, without telling anyone, for a couple of years. He would call me every single birthday though. No matter how messed up he was, I would always get that phone call.
Well, he came back into the state where I live and, of course, he wanted to see me. I said no, I didn't want to. I didn't know him... Well fast forward a couple of years. I started talking to him on the phone to establish a relationship. We decided to meet at a crowded safe place, a McDonalds. My mom and I went to that McDonalds, and waited, and waited, and waited. My heartbroke as I finished my McMeal and he wasn't there. I cried. We went home after waiting for two hours. The phone was ringing as soon as we entered our home. It was him. He was waiting a different McDonalds on the same street, just a different corner. Instead of being an adult and planning it for the next weekend, he yelled and screamed. He essentially scared me shitless. I stopped contact.
A couple of years later I saw him at my baby cousin's first birthday party. It was my first time seeing him in years. I decided it was time to keep in contact. I was getting ready to ask him if he wanted to meet. One night he called me, my mom and I were watching the Scooby Doo movie. He sounded different, far away. My mom got on the phone and heard that he was high and told him never to call me again when he was in that state. I didn't say "I love you". Two days later my dad killed himself. He was trying to overdose the night he called me but had such a high tolerance to drugs that he literally couldn't OD.
End of Background Story.
While I was sad that I never got to really know my dad, I never really got to know him, so how could I miss him? I didn't cry. I never got to know my father, I couldn't really mourn him. To this day I don't really notice, to me it's just like he's not calling once again. People tell me they are sorry for my loss. I used to say "I'm not" when they would say that, but now I just realize it's just something people say to make themselves feel better when I tell them I lost a parent.
I just figured out for myself though that I am sorry too though. Not because he died, but because I never got to know my father. For that I am truly sorry.
= I
Soul
Saturday, May 17, 2008
A piece of me, I'm giving it to you
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Email my heart by Britney Spears.
So, it's the weekend. I went to work and went on facebook. I think that's all I did. I'm such a boring girl. So, I thought I would tell you a little bit more about me. After all these past posts have been revealing, but a bit of past information never hurts, right?
Okay, well, let's think. I'm a Scorpio. I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes but I do think that the analysis of personalities is for the most part dead on. Especially for Scorpios. I know I can spot other Scorpios a mile away. It's true. We apparently exude sex. = )
What else? Hmmm, OOOO, you know what? I know of a humongous survey thing, I will go retrieve it and post it... Sound good? good! Really it's because I have nothing else to do. = (
Be back soon,
= )
Soul
PS- Sorry, got sidetracked and never did end up doing that survey... Sincere apologies
I'm currently listening to Email my heart by Britney Spears.
So, it's the weekend. I went to work and went on facebook. I think that's all I did. I'm such a boring girl. So, I thought I would tell you a little bit more about me. After all these past posts have been revealing, but a bit of past information never hurts, right?
Okay, well, let's think. I'm a Scorpio. I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes but I do think that the analysis of personalities is for the most part dead on. Especially for Scorpios. I know I can spot other Scorpios a mile away. It's true. We apparently exude sex. = )
What else? Hmmm, OOOO, you know what? I know of a humongous survey thing, I will go retrieve it and post it... Sound good? good! Really it's because I have nothing else to do. = (
Be back soon,
= )
Soul
PS- Sorry, got sidetracked and never did end up doing that survey... Sincere apologies
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A little bit more about my life
Hello Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Words I Never Meant by Debra Arlyn
Okay. I am an average girl. I have nice manners and a good sense of humor. I love meeting new people and am a very passionate person. I either LOVE something or HATE something. Very rarely will I be indifferent. I LOVE music. I am constantly listening to my IPOD, which I will be getting a new one because mine is officially too small. I also love digital photography. I want photoshop CS2 really really badly but it is really expensive, and shocker, my high school wages are not that much. Although I do work, and I love it. My coworkers are amazing! One of them is leaving at the end of summer (going to college) and I'm going to be super sad. I am a really emotional person. I cry at pretty much any movie ever made. It's sort of funny, but my family has gotten used to it. I love my family. I am really close to them and don't know what I would do without them.
Right now the weather is dreary, looks like cold autumn day. In reality it is spring and everything should be blooming right about now. It can be depressing if you think about it, but I try not to think about it too much.
Thanks for reading, hope you're hooked!
= )
Soul
I'm currently listening to Words I Never Meant by Debra Arlyn
Okay. I am an average girl. I have nice manners and a good sense of humor. I love meeting new people and am a very passionate person. I either LOVE something or HATE something. Very rarely will I be indifferent. I LOVE music. I am constantly listening to my IPOD, which I will be getting a new one because mine is officially too small. I also love digital photography. I want photoshop CS2 really really badly but it is really expensive, and shocker, my high school wages are not that much. Although I do work, and I love it. My coworkers are amazing! One of them is leaving at the end of summer (going to college) and I'm going to be super sad. I am a really emotional person. I cry at pretty much any movie ever made. It's sort of funny, but my family has gotten used to it. I love my family. I am really close to them and don't know what I would do without them.
Right now the weather is dreary, looks like cold autumn day. In reality it is spring and everything should be blooming right about now. It can be depressing if you think about it, but I try not to think about it too much.
Thanks for reading, hope you're hooked!
= )
Soul
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