Strong Feelings.

Hi Everyone!

I’m currently listening to Relax (Take it Easy) by Mika.

So this is going to be a bit of a departure from my norm. Maybe not. Who knows what my norm really is. Perhaps my norm is a cynical animal shelter worker psycho vegan who hates ants. Perhaps not. I’m going with not. Although none of those things are bad. ANYWAYS! Back to my original point, if I ever had one…

What makes our bodies react in the ways they do? I had always thought I would never be attracted to a certain type of person. Stone is breaking down all of my barriers in a way I never thought possible. I’ll be honest with you, because I can’t be this honest anywhere else. I want him. I want him in every way a girl can want a guy. I want all his attention to be on ME, all of his body to be MINE, all of his thoughts to be about ME, to have his body yearn for ME. That sounds selfish and clingy. I hate those characteristics. With a passion. However, nothing can change the way we feel.

I dislike the way I feel. I have thoughts that consume my mind and I can’t get rid of. I find myself trying to make him smile, because that smile makes me melt. However, in less than forty weeks I will probably never see him again, except for high school reunions. How depressing. He doesn’t move in remotely the same circles as I do. How very very depressing.

No matter how I spin it though, I will be sad when he is not there. I don’t know why. It is one of those unexplainable feelings. Oh how I hate those unexplainable feelings.

He is very easy to look at though, and look at I shall. And it seems that I will be condemned to only look at.

= /

Soul