Sometimes I take showers that burn my skin. My skin turns this deep red. It looks like my whole body is blushing. I take these showers once a week... sometimes twice. I have learned that I shouldn't take these showers two days in a row. They make me feel lightheaded. I wasn't thinking and took two, one last night and one today. Less than 24 hours in between. I feel lightheaded.
I like the sensation. I like the slight burn. The thought that goes screaming through my head to either get out of the scalding water or to turn it down. I fight this urge and take the burn. I usually do this when I need to think. When something stressful is going on as well...
I feel so lightheaded. I feel sick.
I don't know what to do...
I was bad...
But so was he.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Today.
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Picture by Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow.
So today was a bit of a headache so far. I woke up late-ish. Not a bad thing, but the dogs were barking as soon as they saw me to go outside. I felt awful that they needed to go and I didn't take them at the normal time. One of them was mad and even though we were outside for more than a half hour decided to save his messy treats for the floor in the dining room. How pleasant. I then spent over two hours talking a friend up from her emotionally low point because of her boyfriend.
I then called Sky to ask what I should have for lunch. He was busy and I felt like shit for bothering him. I then ate lunch and browsed around online for a job. No, browsing is the wrong word. I scoured the internet for a job, only to be faced once again with the dim realization that right now there is nothing.
Today is just not a good day for me. I want to curl up under the covers and go back to sleep. I want to cry. This is so not like me...
I love being here... being with Sky... but I miss what I left behind too. I know I am in the right place, but when you are being faced with bugs, no car, no job, and no school, sometimes the old things get glamorized. I know that I made the right decision. The place that I was at was not healthy for me. It was wearing on me and I couldn't do anything about it. Now I am loved and welcomed in my home. I knew that I would get homesick eventually, and I think the overly hormonal state I'm in right now doesn't help these feelings, but seriously, going back to bed looks really good right now.
Oh... and I love Sky. We live a very 1950s-esque household. Which I love. But I handle the housework. Dishes, cleaning, etc etc etc. Well, we have a tiny bug issue that has me literally scared to go into my kitchen. Sky did the dishes last night. At that moment I fell a little bit more in love with him. I am head over heels. I love him with all of my heart. He is the best man in the whole world.
:)
Soul
I'm currently listening to Picture by Kid Rock feat. Sheryl Crow.
So today was a bit of a headache so far. I woke up late-ish. Not a bad thing, but the dogs were barking as soon as they saw me to go outside. I felt awful that they needed to go and I didn't take them at the normal time. One of them was mad and even though we were outside for more than a half hour decided to save his messy treats for the floor in the dining room. How pleasant. I then spent over two hours talking a friend up from her emotionally low point because of her boyfriend.
I then called Sky to ask what I should have for lunch. He was busy and I felt like shit for bothering him. I then ate lunch and browsed around online for a job. No, browsing is the wrong word. I scoured the internet for a job, only to be faced once again with the dim realization that right now there is nothing.
Today is just not a good day for me. I want to curl up under the covers and go back to sleep. I want to cry. This is so not like me...
I love being here... being with Sky... but I miss what I left behind too. I know I am in the right place, but when you are being faced with bugs, no car, no job, and no school, sometimes the old things get glamorized. I know that I made the right decision. The place that I was at was not healthy for me. It was wearing on me and I couldn't do anything about it. Now I am loved and welcomed in my home. I knew that I would get homesick eventually, and I think the overly hormonal state I'm in right now doesn't help these feelings, but seriously, going back to bed looks really good right now.
Oh... and I love Sky. We live a very 1950s-esque household. Which I love. But I handle the housework. Dishes, cleaning, etc etc etc. Well, we have a tiny bug issue that has me literally scared to go into my kitchen. Sky did the dishes last night. At that moment I fell a little bit more in love with him. I am head over heels. I love him with all of my heart. He is the best man in the whole world.
:)
Soul
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Secrets
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently not listening to anything.
It's Sunday, and Sunday means postsecret. I love this website and have even before it got popular by All American Rejects. Well, I went there this morning and a secret really affected me.
The one above this really got to me. I miss my cat. *so much* He was the one thing that got me through my hard times. He listened to me when I had problems. Which sounds strange, but a lot of the times he was the only one I could talk to. He would snuggle up and listen. He would sleep with me. He would play with me. I love him to death and miss him more than anything in the world. He is my kitty love and I will never stop loving him. It breaks my heart that I am away from him. He is the best cat in the world. It is a worry of mine that when I go to visit that he won't love me anymore, or at least not to the degree that he did. Or that he will hold it against me that I left. I hope that he remembers all the talks we had and remembers that I never wanted to leave him. I hope that he remembers why I left. I know this all sounds silly to some of you, but I needed to write it out. I miss my cat. A lot.
Soul
I'm currently not listening to anything.
It's Sunday, and Sunday means postsecret. I love this website and have even before it got popular by All American Rejects. Well, I went there this morning and a secret really affected me.
The one above this really got to me. I miss my cat. *so much* He was the one thing that got me through my hard times. He listened to me when I had problems. Which sounds strange, but a lot of the times he was the only one I could talk to. He would snuggle up and listen. He would sleep with me. He would play with me. I love him to death and miss him more than anything in the world. He is my kitty love and I will never stop loving him. It breaks my heart that I am away from him. He is the best cat in the world. It is a worry of mine that when I go to visit that he won't love me anymore, or at least not to the degree that he did. Or that he will hold it against me that I left. I hope that he remembers all the talks we had and remembers that I never wanted to leave him. I hope that he remembers why I left. I know this all sounds silly to some of you, but I needed to write it out. I miss my cat. A lot.
Soul
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday night.
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently watching something Sky has on in the background.
My Friday night has been so nice. Sky came home, we ate dinner, did some stuff around the house, had some fun, and are now relaxing with a movie on. It is so nice to be able to curl up next to him. :) I actually wanted this to be a longer post, but now that I'm thinking about it... why am I sitting at the computer instead of sitting next to my sexy sexy sexy boyfriend???
:D
Soul
I'm currently watching something Sky has on in the background.
My Friday night has been so nice. Sky came home, we ate dinner, did some stuff around the house, had some fun, and are now relaxing with a movie on. It is so nice to be able to curl up next to him. :) I actually wanted this to be a longer post, but now that I'm thinking about it... why am I sitting at the computer instead of sitting next to my sexy sexy sexy boyfriend???
:D
Soul
Monday, October 5, 2009
Getting There
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Crazy Possessive by Kaci Battaglia.
I am settling in my new home. It is nice and cozy. The spare bedroom is mysteriously colder than the rest of the house. I am definitely keeping myself busy. There is so much to do and I would love to have it done already but that would be impossible. This is the first time that I am tackling everything by myself. It is a bit overwhelming, but I like that Sky knows that I will get it all done. The bathroom is completely in terms of cleaning. The only things left to do are minor but require asking Sky some questions.
I have washed all the new dishes and put them away. I am going to need to do laundry later this week, but to be honest it is one of the last things on my list. Sky and I have enough clothes to last and there is so much to be done inside the house I really don't want to leave for something like that. Weird, but true. I'm thinking maybe early next week I will make it into a day long affair. Because, to be honest, Sky has way more laundry than I would expect. >.< Laundry definitely isn't one of my favorite things to do. Not at all. That's okay though... Once we get all of it done then I will figure out a more stable way to handle it where it is not a day-long thing and just a two hour trip or something.
I have cleaned off the dining room table although I want to do more tonight. Just to organize it. All of the trash is off of it now. Lol, just as I typed that I found three more pieces of trash on it. Into a trash pile! :D I love cleaning for Sky. It calms me and puts a smile on my face, even though the task is daunting. Tomorrow I think I want to put my clothes away, but I cannot go into the spare bedroom now.
Sky has a lot of clothes and I don't know exactly how he has them organized now, there are drawers, but it is sort of confusing. I'm not too worried about it. I am going to clean a decorative ledge above the fireplace so I can start to figure out what to put there. Right now there is a bunch of random things.
The most annoying thing to me is the floors but I know I can't do those until everything else is done, or else I'll just end up redoing it. I got the floors in the bathroom and that is what was really irritating me.
I started looking at prices for a new tub/tub surround today. I just don't think that I can get the tub any cleaner and I've used comet three times already.
My only woe right now is my lack of hot water. The gas isn't activated yet and I hate cold showers. Not to mention, shaving is a bitch with cold water. Skin gets all prickly with goosebumps and I cut myself. Grrrrrr. Not pleasant. Not at all. Also I have this really weird bug bite.
I am doing well though. Better than well. Amazing. I am happy in my home. That hasn't been something I have been able to say for a long time.
:)
Soul
I'm currently listening to Crazy Possessive by Kaci Battaglia.
I am settling in my new home. It is nice and cozy. The spare bedroom is mysteriously colder than the rest of the house. I am definitely keeping myself busy. There is so much to do and I would love to have it done already but that would be impossible. This is the first time that I am tackling everything by myself. It is a bit overwhelming, but I like that Sky knows that I will get it all done. The bathroom is completely in terms of cleaning. The only things left to do are minor but require asking Sky some questions.
I have washed all the new dishes and put them away. I am going to need to do laundry later this week, but to be honest it is one of the last things on my list. Sky and I have enough clothes to last and there is so much to be done inside the house I really don't want to leave for something like that. Weird, but true. I'm thinking maybe early next week I will make it into a day long affair. Because, to be honest, Sky has way more laundry than I would expect. >.< Laundry definitely isn't one of my favorite things to do. Not at all. That's okay though... Once we get all of it done then I will figure out a more stable way to handle it where it is not a day-long thing and just a two hour trip or something.
I have cleaned off the dining room table although I want to do more tonight. Just to organize it. All of the trash is off of it now. Lol, just as I typed that I found three more pieces of trash on it. Into a trash pile! :D I love cleaning for Sky. It calms me and puts a smile on my face, even though the task is daunting. Tomorrow I think I want to put my clothes away, but I cannot go into the spare bedroom now.
Sky has a lot of clothes and I don't know exactly how he has them organized now, there are drawers, but it is sort of confusing. I'm not too worried about it. I am going to clean a decorative ledge above the fireplace so I can start to figure out what to put there. Right now there is a bunch of random things.
The most annoying thing to me is the floors but I know I can't do those until everything else is done, or else I'll just end up redoing it. I got the floors in the bathroom and that is what was really irritating me.
I started looking at prices for a new tub/tub surround today. I just don't think that I can get the tub any cleaner and I've used comet three times already.
My only woe right now is my lack of hot water. The gas isn't activated yet and I hate cold showers. Not to mention, shaving is a bitch with cold water. Skin gets all prickly with goosebumps and I cut myself. Grrrrrr. Not pleasant. Not at all. Also I have this really weird bug bite.
I am doing well though. Better than well. Amazing. I am happy in my home. That hasn't been something I have been able to say for a long time.
:)
Soul
Sunday, October 4, 2009
My New Life
Hey Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Everyone's At It by Lily Allen.
I moved yesterday. I am happy. I am in the process of cleaning. The bathroom right now specifically.
Now I am eating [a really really good PB&J sandwich. Mmmmm]. I still am in the middle of cleaning the bathroom though. Just took a dinner break. So far I've cleaned the floor and the toilet. I've still got this one section of floor to clean that was just too hard to reach the first go-around. That bit should only take about five minutes though. So I'm not worried about it. I want the bathroom all cleaned by the time I go to bed. It shouldn't be a problem the only things I have left to do in there is the shower and the sink/cabinet combo.
I think after that, depending on how much time I have, I might wash the dishes we bought yesterday. I just don't know if I'll be up for setting all of the bathroom things tonight. I might save that for a morning job. I might go through the box and separate things though. That wouldn't be too bad. Eh, who knows. We'll see how I feel after finishing cleaning.
I love Sky. He has done so much for me. He is the most amazing person ever. At a point where I was left with no options, he gave me one. I am happy with him. I love him, and I am in love with him.
I am now living with two dogs instead of my loving adorable cat. The dogs are cute. I am getting used to them. They are sleeping at my feet right now, so you can't knock their lovingness either... They listen well [for the most part] too.
:)
Soul
I'm currently listening to Everyone's At It by Lily Allen.
I moved yesterday. I am happy. I am in the process of cleaning. The bathroom right now specifically.
Now I am eating [a really really good PB&J sandwich. Mmmmm]. I still am in the middle of cleaning the bathroom though. Just took a dinner break. So far I've cleaned the floor and the toilet. I've still got this one section of floor to clean that was just too hard to reach the first go-around. That bit should only take about five minutes though. So I'm not worried about it. I want the bathroom all cleaned by the time I go to bed. It shouldn't be a problem the only things I have left to do in there is the shower and the sink/cabinet combo.
I think after that, depending on how much time I have, I might wash the dishes we bought yesterday. I just don't know if I'll be up for setting all of the bathroom things tonight. I might save that for a morning job. I might go through the box and separate things though. That wouldn't be too bad. Eh, who knows. We'll see how I feel after finishing cleaning.
I love Sky. He has done so much for me. He is the most amazing person ever. At a point where I was left with no options, he gave me one. I am happy with him. I love him, and I am in love with him.
I am now living with two dogs instead of my loving adorable cat. The dogs are cute. I am getting used to them. They are sleeping at my feet right now, so you can't knock their lovingness either... They listen well [for the most part] too.
:)
Soul
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