Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Just a Little Bit by 50 Cent
I have a million and a half things to do tonight. I need to write two essays for english and compile a huge list of names for my history class. Not to mention I wanted to watch all of season six of Sex and the City before Sunday. I haven't started yet. = )
I also need to watch Lost! I am beyond excited. I get to see Sawyer. I LOVE Josh Holloway/Sawyer. I have a strange attraction to "bad boys" I think it's because I have an incessant need to fix things. I think that they will "change". Also, I like to think the best of everyone so I always like to think there is something soft and gooey beneath.
= )
Soul
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
The... FUTURE!
Hi Everyone!
I'm Currently listening to Sensitive subject Matter by Bonnie McKee
My whole life is spread before me like an open road. Part of me wonders where I’ll be in five or ten years. What will happen with my career, love life, and friends? Well, more than anything, this is a post about the future.
I have talked about the book I’m writing but I don’t think I have addressed the career I want, high school English teacher. I would love a job at the high school I attend. They have great faculty and an amazing atmosphere that I would love to be a part of. Part of me wonders if I will get a job there. It seems that they hire quite a few alumni though, so fingers crossed! Get back to me in five years and we’ll see.
I have posted about one of my ex-boyfriends. He is really the only one I will write about on here. (as far as exes go) Don’t worry though, I will write about all my tiny infatuations with guys I meet. As far as my love life goes though, it’s, I don’t even know. This is my first time in a really long time that I haven’t had a serious crush on someone. I mean I know you all know about Cabbage, but that’s not really a crush. That is sort of a funny little attraction. Part of me really feels free not to be consumed by a silly little crush. I am confident in myself and I think that is the first step to finding a good counterpart. Hopefully I will be in a good long term relationship that I can chronicle here and you all can throw up with all my romantic quips. I am truly a romantic.
Now, the biggest part, friends.
You all know Manhattan. She is like a sister to me. She is one girl who can read my mind. I have known her for quite a while and we connected on a level that can never be changed. While at times she gets on my nerves I know I get on her nerves too. We always have each other’s back. She is one of those girls who will be in my wedding and probably with me when I’m getting lipo at 50. We have been through everything together. She has to be my best friend for life because she knows WAY too much.
I introduced Mediterranean not too long back. She is a joy. I truly adore her. I know that no matter what point at my life I am at she will be there. I haven’t known her all that long, but she is definitely a girl who can talk to me about anything and ALWAYS make me laugh. C’est vrai!
Now, I’m throwing a new code name at you, can you handle it? I have faith that you can. Twin is the girl who I work with. We have the same personality and mild OCD. She started off HATING me, I don’t know how… Then, like always, I grew on her and now we are inseparable. We are two peas in a pod. She is someone who I can tell anything to and I know that she will keep it to herself. I know that we will probably end up having kids at the exact same time and going to the same prenatal yoga class and our perfect daughters will be born within minutes of each other and look gorgeously alike and be best friends. (Hope that doesn’t freak you out Twin!) hahahahaha. We are a perfect match for each other. I finally gave you a code name!
Alright, well enough about the future. Time to focus on the present.
= )
Soul
I'm Currently listening to Sensitive subject Matter by Bonnie McKee
My whole life is spread before me like an open road. Part of me wonders where I’ll be in five or ten years. What will happen with my career, love life, and friends? Well, more than anything, this is a post about the future.
I have talked about the book I’m writing but I don’t think I have addressed the career I want, high school English teacher. I would love a job at the high school I attend. They have great faculty and an amazing atmosphere that I would love to be a part of. Part of me wonders if I will get a job there. It seems that they hire quite a few alumni though, so fingers crossed! Get back to me in five years and we’ll see.
I have posted about one of my ex-boyfriends. He is really the only one I will write about on here. (as far as exes go) Don’t worry though, I will write about all my tiny infatuations with guys I meet. As far as my love life goes though, it’s, I don’t even know. This is my first time in a really long time that I haven’t had a serious crush on someone. I mean I know you all know about Cabbage, but that’s not really a crush. That is sort of a funny little attraction. Part of me really feels free not to be consumed by a silly little crush. I am confident in myself and I think that is the first step to finding a good counterpart. Hopefully I will be in a good long term relationship that I can chronicle here and you all can throw up with all my romantic quips. I am truly a romantic.
Now, the biggest part, friends.
You all know Manhattan. She is like a sister to me. She is one girl who can read my mind. I have known her for quite a while and we connected on a level that can never be changed. While at times she gets on my nerves I know I get on her nerves too. We always have each other’s back. She is one of those girls who will be in my wedding and probably with me when I’m getting lipo at 50. We have been through everything together. She has to be my best friend for life because she knows WAY too much.
I introduced Mediterranean not too long back. She is a joy. I truly adore her. I know that no matter what point at my life I am at she will be there. I haven’t known her all that long, but she is definitely a girl who can talk to me about anything and ALWAYS make me laugh. C’est vrai!
Now, I’m throwing a new code name at you, can you handle it? I have faith that you can. Twin is the girl who I work with. We have the same personality and mild OCD. She started off HATING me, I don’t know how… Then, like always, I grew on her and now we are inseparable. We are two peas in a pod. She is someone who I can tell anything to and I know that she will keep it to herself. I know that we will probably end up having kids at the exact same time and going to the same prenatal yoga class and our perfect daughters will be born within minutes of each other and look gorgeously alike and be best friends. (Hope that doesn’t freak you out Twin!) hahahahaha. We are a perfect match for each other. I finally gave you a code name!
Alright, well enough about the future. Time to focus on the present.
= )
Soul
Thursday, May 22, 2008
My dearly beloved friends
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Last Name by Carrie Underwood.
Today was a really hard day for me to get through at school. I am a junior and some of my closest friends are seniors. Today was the last day of school for the seniors. I found myself wanting to cry so many times. They were all happy because they are done with high school and they still have to go through the actual grad ceremony and everything. I on the other hand had the sad realization that I was seeing some of these people of the last time.
While I will still see my friends over the summer and throughout my life, there are the random people who you see in the hallways and sit next to you in chem who I most likely won't see again. It is a sad sad thing to realize. It's even hard for me to type this out because it brings up so many emotions. I'm not a highly emotional person, but today really got to me. I don't even want to think of the last time I see each of my friends before college, it might just break me.
Good news though, one of my near dear friends, I shall call her Mediterranean, got her yearbook today and I was able to sign it. Hmmm, actually that applies to both of the real life friends who read this. So, let's talk about Mediterranean, and her great impact on my life. Actually, I have talked about her in a previous post, don't ask which one, because I will go back and find it if you do.
Mediterranean has inspired me to become a better me. She holds her head up high and doesn't care what other people think of her. While I hold my head up high and pretend to not care, I secret listen and analyze the moment I'm alone. I'd like to stop doing that. I think that seeing how strong of a person she is helps me stop caring about what people say. It sounds mighty trivial, but she is the kindest person. She took a lot of the courses I am, a year earlier but took them none-the-less. She has given me multiple things to help me prepare for next year and for that I can never show enough gratitude. She is a genuinely good human being.
Hmmm, it seems like I enjoy coming up with code names that begin with the letter "M".
=)
Soul
I'm currently listening to Last Name by Carrie Underwood.
Today was a really hard day for me to get through at school. I am a junior and some of my closest friends are seniors. Today was the last day of school for the seniors. I found myself wanting to cry so many times. They were all happy because they are done with high school and they still have to go through the actual grad ceremony and everything. I on the other hand had the sad realization that I was seeing some of these people of the last time.
While I will still see my friends over the summer and throughout my life, there are the random people who you see in the hallways and sit next to you in chem who I most likely won't see again. It is a sad sad thing to realize. It's even hard for me to type this out because it brings up so many emotions. I'm not a highly emotional person, but today really got to me. I don't even want to think of the last time I see each of my friends before college, it might just break me.
Good news though, one of my near dear friends, I shall call her Mediterranean, got her yearbook today and I was able to sign it. Hmmm, actually that applies to both of the real life friends who read this. So, let's talk about Mediterranean, and her great impact on my life. Actually, I have talked about her in a previous post, don't ask which one, because I will go back and find it if you do.
Mediterranean has inspired me to become a better me. She holds her head up high and doesn't care what other people think of her. While I hold my head up high and pretend to not care, I secret listen and analyze the moment I'm alone. I'd like to stop doing that. I think that seeing how strong of a person she is helps me stop caring about what people say. It sounds mighty trivial, but she is the kindest person. She took a lot of the courses I am, a year earlier but took them none-the-less. She has given me multiple things to help me prepare for next year and for that I can never show enough gratitude. She is a genuinely good human being.
Hmmm, it seems like I enjoy coming up with code names that begin with the letter "M".
=)
Soul
Monday, May 19, 2008
All Good things come to an End
Hi Everyone!
I’m currently listening to Stop and Stare by OneRepublic.
So, today I was watching/reading the captions on How I Met Your Mother when I was working out. Something that one of the characters said brought me back to a time a few years ago, well actually more than a few years ago now.
My mom has always had very good set of standards with guys. She doesn’t do the one night stand and has a great level of self esteem. Also, being a single mother, she has a good set of rules for involvement in our lives. The thing is, we are a family unit, and she isn’t going to be throwing random guys into our lives willy-nilly. I have immense respect for her decision. It has sure made my life easier.
ANYWAYS! Years ago she was so connected with a guy, we’ll call him Mustang, that she brought him home to meet me. It was the first time anything like that had happened in the frame of time I remember. Mustang quickly became an integral part of our lives. He even ended up moving in. I let my guard down slowly. My father essentially abandoned me so I did not open up to men very easily. I stopped saying “I love you” to my mom to her face when he was around and would run upstairs and yell it down. Therefore I wouldn’t have to face rejection if he did not return the sentiment. However, every time I did this he would yell “I love you too” back up in unison with my mom. Eventually I did start saying it directly to him. He was becoming a part of the family.
Soon enough he was spending nights over and I had a father figure for the first time in my life. He finally informed me that he had moved in. I remember being so happy. I had, for the first time, a sort of father. Good times followed, great times actually.
I believe the saying goes, all good things come to an end, this was no different. My mom and him eventually broke up. His reasoning was “what if I cannot be there one day for you?” the “you” being my mother and myself. Instead of being a man and stepping up to that occasion when/if it arose, he backed out at that moment. He also said he didn’t want to hurt me if the relationship didn’t end up working out and I was attached. I cried. I was already attached.
He tried to stay in my life. He had "visitation rights", and in the beginning he was committed to them. Every Thursday we would go on adventures. Some of the adventures involved the mall, others involved ice cream. It didn’t matter where we went, we just were together, that’s all that mattered. However, like I said before, all good things come to an end. I don’t remember how the visits and adventures even stopped. They just did. I don’t remember if it was gradual or sudden. That makes me sad all in of itself.
Years went by without any contact at all, nothing.
Then we saw Mustang one day. We were driving towards the mall and stopped at a red light. The car in front of us and to the left was Mustang’s car, and he was inside. I willed him to turn around, face us. He didn’t. The light turned to green, he turned, and we went straight. Even if he had turned and seen us, he was safe to ignore us in our separate steel enclosures.
I have promised myself to one day find him. I know where he lives. I want to get some answers for myself. I’m thinking that sometime this summer will be perfect. It is the first summer without any travel commitments so I am free to go when I want. This is what I am thinking. My mom does not know this. I do know that when I told her I wanted to call him last year she said it would be a bad idea, we were out of his life, so I’m assuming she would think the same of this.
However, bad idea or not, I cannot let the man who was the closest thing to a father figure I’ve ever had, just walk out of my life forever. Who knows if I’ll have the balls to actually say anything, maybe I’ll just wait to see him. See if he looks happy, see if he looks empty inside, see if he looks whatever…
Well, that is a but more of my life… Hope you enjoyed it. = P
= )
Soul
I’m currently listening to Stop and Stare by OneRepublic.
So, today I was watching/reading the captions on How I Met Your Mother when I was working out. Something that one of the characters said brought me back to a time a few years ago, well actually more than a few years ago now.
My mom has always had very good set of standards with guys. She doesn’t do the one night stand and has a great level of self esteem. Also, being a single mother, she has a good set of rules for involvement in our lives. The thing is, we are a family unit, and she isn’t going to be throwing random guys into our lives willy-nilly. I have immense respect for her decision. It has sure made my life easier.
ANYWAYS! Years ago she was so connected with a guy, we’ll call him Mustang, that she brought him home to meet me. It was the first time anything like that had happened in the frame of time I remember. Mustang quickly became an integral part of our lives. He even ended up moving in. I let my guard down slowly. My father essentially abandoned me so I did not open up to men very easily. I stopped saying “I love you” to my mom to her face when he was around and would run upstairs and yell it down. Therefore I wouldn’t have to face rejection if he did not return the sentiment. However, every time I did this he would yell “I love you too” back up in unison with my mom. Eventually I did start saying it directly to him. He was becoming a part of the family.
Soon enough he was spending nights over and I had a father figure for the first time in my life. He finally informed me that he had moved in. I remember being so happy. I had, for the first time, a sort of father. Good times followed, great times actually.
I believe the saying goes, all good things come to an end, this was no different. My mom and him eventually broke up. His reasoning was “what if I cannot be there one day for you?” the “you” being my mother and myself. Instead of being a man and stepping up to that occasion when/if it arose, he backed out at that moment. He also said he didn’t want to hurt me if the relationship didn’t end up working out and I was attached. I cried. I was already attached.
He tried to stay in my life. He had "visitation rights", and in the beginning he was committed to them. Every Thursday we would go on adventures. Some of the adventures involved the mall, others involved ice cream. It didn’t matter where we went, we just were together, that’s all that mattered. However, like I said before, all good things come to an end. I don’t remember how the visits and adventures even stopped. They just did. I don’t remember if it was gradual or sudden. That makes me sad all in of itself.
Years went by without any contact at all, nothing.
Then we saw Mustang one day. We were driving towards the mall and stopped at a red light. The car in front of us and to the left was Mustang’s car, and he was inside. I willed him to turn around, face us. He didn’t. The light turned to green, he turned, and we went straight. Even if he had turned and seen us, he was safe to ignore us in our separate steel enclosures.
I have promised myself to one day find him. I know where he lives. I want to get some answers for myself. I’m thinking that sometime this summer will be perfect. It is the first summer without any travel commitments so I am free to go when I want. This is what I am thinking. My mom does not know this. I do know that when I told her I wanted to call him last year she said it would be a bad idea, we were out of his life, so I’m assuming she would think the same of this.
However, bad idea or not, I cannot let the man who was the closest thing to a father figure I’ve ever had, just walk out of my life forever. Who knows if I’ll have the balls to actually say anything, maybe I’ll just wait to see him. See if he looks happy, see if he looks empty inside, see if he looks whatever…
Well, that is a but more of my life… Hope you enjoyed it. = P
= )
Soul
Manhattan is my homie
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Toxic by Britney Spears.
Manhattan and I are all good. We chilled at Starbucks (I recommend the Java Chip Frapp) and talked about the recent downfall in our friendship. I told her that it was strange to pause when defining her. Usually it would be a no brainer to say she is like my sister, a best friend in every sense. It was getting more and more difficult to say that without hesitation.
I am really happy that we addressed what my problems were and I think we are at a place where I am confident with everything we are. I love her to death and I'm glad that she is as into keeping me as a best friend as I am keeping her.
It put me in such a good mood that I am looking forward to working out tonight. hahahaha, which I find hilarious because I never look forward to working out. I had off of work tonight, which was such a needed break. The last two weeks I feel like I was working non stop. Although next Friday's paycheck will be sooo nice. Hahaha, and now that gas prices are skyrocketing I need all the money I can get. I need monnnnaaaayyyy!!!!! So if you see a smokin hot "padded" (hahaha, see a previous post) girl selling her body on the street give me a shout out, maybe I'll give you a blog discount.
= )
Soul
I'm currently listening to Toxic by Britney Spears.
Manhattan and I are all good. We chilled at Starbucks (I recommend the Java Chip Frapp) and talked about the recent downfall in our friendship. I told her that it was strange to pause when defining her. Usually it would be a no brainer to say she is like my sister, a best friend in every sense. It was getting more and more difficult to say that without hesitation.
I am really happy that we addressed what my problems were and I think we are at a place where I am confident with everything we are. I love her to death and I'm glad that she is as into keeping me as a best friend as I am keeping her.
It put me in such a good mood that I am looking forward to working out tonight. hahahaha, which I find hilarious because I never look forward to working out. I had off of work tonight, which was such a needed break. The last two weeks I feel like I was working non stop. Although next Friday's paycheck will be sooo nice. Hahaha, and now that gas prices are skyrocketing I need all the money I can get. I need monnnnaaaayyyy!!!!! So if you see a smokin hot "padded" (hahaha, see a previous post) girl selling her body on the street give me a shout out, maybe I'll give you a blog discount.
= )
Soul
Saturday, May 17, 2008
A piece of me, I'm giving it to you
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Email my heart by Britney Spears.
So, it's the weekend. I went to work and went on facebook. I think that's all I did. I'm such a boring girl. So, I thought I would tell you a little bit more about me. After all these past posts have been revealing, but a bit of past information never hurts, right?
Okay, well, let's think. I'm a Scorpio. I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes but I do think that the analysis of personalities is for the most part dead on. Especially for Scorpios. I know I can spot other Scorpios a mile away. It's true. We apparently exude sex. = )
What else? Hmmm, OOOO, you know what? I know of a humongous survey thing, I will go retrieve it and post it... Sound good? good! Really it's because I have nothing else to do. = (
Be back soon,
= )
Soul
PS- Sorry, got sidetracked and never did end up doing that survey... Sincere apologies
I'm currently listening to Email my heart by Britney Spears.
So, it's the weekend. I went to work and went on facebook. I think that's all I did. I'm such a boring girl. So, I thought I would tell you a little bit more about me. After all these past posts have been revealing, but a bit of past information never hurts, right?
Okay, well, let's think. I'm a Scorpio. I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes but I do think that the analysis of personalities is for the most part dead on. Especially for Scorpios. I know I can spot other Scorpios a mile away. It's true. We apparently exude sex. = )
What else? Hmmm, OOOO, you know what? I know of a humongous survey thing, I will go retrieve it and post it... Sound good? good! Really it's because I have nothing else to do. = (
Be back soon,
= )
Soul
PS- Sorry, got sidetracked and never did end up doing that survey... Sincere apologies
Friday, May 16, 2008
Manhattan and the co-worker
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Born for This by Paramore.
Alrighty everyone, I have a day and time set up with Manhattan (see yesterday's post). All I need now is to make sure I stick to talking to her. I don't know what will come of it, but I am determined to get this bs out of the way. I don't want to be feeling like this. I have counted her as my best friend for so long. I have a hole where our friendship used to be. It either needs to be filled or band-aided.
Since, I am maintaining code names and everything I figured I would code name my male older coworker. I will be calling him Cabbage. (parce qu'il est mon petit chou.) I worked with him solo today (again). He is a really funny and great guy. I really don't even know what to say. I was happy to see him working and we talked for pretty much my whole time at work. (Not very productive)
Just an update...
= )
Soul
I'm currently listening to Born for This by Paramore.
Alrighty everyone, I have a day and time set up with Manhattan (see yesterday's post). All I need now is to make sure I stick to talking to her. I don't know what will come of it, but I am determined to get this bs out of the way. I don't want to be feeling like this. I have counted her as my best friend for so long. I have a hole where our friendship used to be. It either needs to be filled or band-aided.
Since, I am maintaining code names and everything I figured I would code name my male older coworker. I will be calling him Cabbage. (parce qu'il est mon petit chou.) I worked with him solo today (again). He is a really funny and great guy. I really don't even know what to say. I was happy to see him working and we talked for pretty much my whole time at work. (Not very productive)
Just an update...
= )
Soul
Thursday, May 15, 2008
One friend, right... friend?
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Michelle by Jason Castro.
So I talked to one of my dear friends today about an issue with one of my other friends. I think it really helped, but I'm going to rely my issues to you as well.
My best friend's name will be Manhattan in this blog. I deleted my Manhattan story, mostly because I wrote it when I was mad. I didn't give the unbiased story. So, to those who already read this, the story was a bit harsh and that's why it's not here anymore. Really, all that needs to be known is below...
I feel like we are drifting apart and I really don't like a lot of the attitude she puts forth. It seems like she puts effort into it only when she wants something. She has hurt me numerous times in the recent weeks and I can only think, "what do I do?"
I think I should talk to her about it all, but I don't know when because I am so flipping busy. hmmm, who knows. I'll post when the next update with Manhattan comes up.
= (
Soul
~Added and Edited part is bold and italicized~
I'm currently listening to Michelle by Jason Castro.
So I talked to one of my dear friends today about an issue with one of my other friends. I think it really helped, but I'm going to rely my issues to you as well.
My best friend's name will be Manhattan in this blog. I deleted my Manhattan story, mostly because I wrote it when I was mad. I didn't give the unbiased story. So, to those who already read this, the story was a bit harsh and that's why it's not here anymore. Really, all that needs to be known is below...
I feel like we are drifting apart and I really don't like a lot of the attitude she puts forth. It seems like she puts effort into it only when she wants something. She has hurt me numerous times in the recent weeks and I can only think, "what do I do?"
I think I should talk to her about it all, but I don't know when because I am so flipping busy. hmmm, who knows. I'll post when the next update with Manhattan comes up.
= (
Soul
~Added and Edited part is bold and italicized~
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I'm in a confused daze
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Fake It by Seether.
Alright everyone, I'm in a pickle, a dill pickle. Anyways, it is actually serious. I have lost weight. I have touched on that point before. I have also touched on the point that I'm fucking smokin' hot. I know that I obviously could loose some more weight. My only problem is I have no desire to work out. I used to enjoy it, I think...
I dread the days where I know I will be working out. My mom told me tonight that I could stop going and she would be okay with it. We got in a bit of an argument over it because I want to lose weight, but I don't want to diet and I sure as hell don't want to exercise. Anybody got any other solutions? I chalk a lot of it up to how I was raised.
I am an only child in a one parent household. Which definitely had its advantages. The only bad thing is I looked at myself as my mom's equal, which meant that I thought I should have an equal amount of food. So, I took in too much food. Also, the food we were eating wasn't the healthiest. She was a working mom and we only had nights to spend together. So we would eat dinner late and I didn't go out and play like other kids because I was spending time with my mom.
Now it is coming back to bite me in my ample ass.
I have a thousand and forty reasons to loose weight. I just don't know if I want to exert the effort anymore. I feel like I'm not getting the results that I want. It is taking a long time. I'm impatient.
If you have any thoughts, please, leave them. I am going crazy.
= /
Soul
I'm currently listening to Fake It by Seether.
Alright everyone, I'm in a pickle, a dill pickle. Anyways, it is actually serious. I have lost weight. I have touched on that point before. I have also touched on the point that I'm fucking smokin' hot. I know that I obviously could loose some more weight. My only problem is I have no desire to work out. I used to enjoy it, I think...
I dread the days where I know I will be working out. My mom told me tonight that I could stop going and she would be okay with it. We got in a bit of an argument over it because I want to lose weight, but I don't want to diet and I sure as hell don't want to exercise. Anybody got any other solutions? I chalk a lot of it up to how I was raised.
I am an only child in a one parent household. Which definitely had its advantages. The only bad thing is I looked at myself as my mom's equal, which meant that I thought I should have an equal amount of food. So, I took in too much food. Also, the food we were eating wasn't the healthiest. She was a working mom and we only had nights to spend together. So we would eat dinner late and I didn't go out and play like other kids because I was spending time with my mom.
Now it is coming back to bite me in my ample ass.
I have a thousand and forty reasons to loose weight. I just don't know if I want to exert the effort anymore. I feel like I'm not getting the results that I want. It is taking a long time. I'm impatient.
If you have any thoughts, please, leave them. I am going crazy.
= /
Soul
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tired self...
Hi Everyone!
I’m currently listening to Fuck Ya Man by Tila Tequila
I have been studying for my AP English test like no other. It’s actually quite ridiculous and tiring. So my mind has been focused on hyperboles and syllogisms. So I have no life, I have come to terms with that a long time ago. = )
American Idol is on tonight and I feel like it is sort of useless for me to even watch it because the Davids will go on to next week. I will watch it though. Because I like the show. I’m just really tired and want to go to sleep.
It’s funny because I find myself wanting to sleep more and more these days. Sort of funny. Not to mention I need to go to school early tomorrow and support one of my friends. Part of me is sour about it because she doesn’t really support me. I go out of my way for my friends, so I will be there.
Well, maybe I’ll go eat some dinner then go to bed.
= 0 (yawning)
Soul
I’m currently listening to Fuck Ya Man by Tila Tequila
I have been studying for my AP English test like no other. It’s actually quite ridiculous and tiring. So my mind has been focused on hyperboles and syllogisms. So I have no life, I have come to terms with that a long time ago. = )
American Idol is on tonight and I feel like it is sort of useless for me to even watch it because the Davids will go on to next week. I will watch it though. Because I like the show. I’m just really tired and want to go to sleep.
It’s funny because I find myself wanting to sleep more and more these days. Sort of funny. Not to mention I need to go to school early tomorrow and support one of my friends. Part of me is sour about it because she doesn’t really support me. I go out of my way for my friends, so I will be there.
Well, maybe I’ll go eat some dinner then go to bed.
= 0 (yawning)
Soul
Saturday, May 10, 2008
A few of my favorite things/people because people aren't objects
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Dream On by Michael Johns.
I have given two of my actual friends this url to see my blog. This is like my baby. I don't really want just anyone seeing it. Especially because I talk about my ubersecret crush on an older man. = ) Anyways, there are a couple of things I would like to say about my friends.
I'm currently listening to Dream On by Michael Johns.
I have given two of my actual friends this url to see my blog. This is like my baby. I don't really want just anyone seeing it. Especially because I talk about my ubersecret crush on an older man. = ) Anyways, there are a couple of things I would like to say about my friends.
I feel so comfortable around two people who I met this year. (The two people who read this people) (YES YOU!) I wish I had gotten closer to them before this year. One of them I met through work and we are the same person. (I'm writing about you, happy?) I really feel like I can be myself around her. meows and quacks and everything. I find myself telling her things that I don't tell anyone else because they are private and I just don't find myself sharing a lot.
The other girl is someone I wish I got to know better last year. She is funny and I always know I can talk to her about anything. I swear I have never laughed so much in my life. I feel that by knowing her I have become a better person. Which seems silly, but is true. She has quickly become someone who I can confide in.
I appreciate both of these girls a lot. I find myself thinking about the friends I do have, and whether they are true friends or not. High school is quickly coming to an end (for most of my friends within a month and only another year for me). Everyone is going in such different directions and it is up to you if you want to make an effort to stay friends. I can think of five, maybe six people who I will fight to stay friends with. I'm not saying I'm going to cease talking to my other friends as soon as high school ends. I'm sure an occasional "hello" or "do you want to hang out" will be exchanged, but I will not fight to make sure it happens. The really funny thing is three of those five or six people I have just met/become close to this year.
=)
Soul
Thursday, May 8, 2008
What a ________ life I lead...
Hi everyone!
I'm currently listening to Out of Line by The Bravery
I feel like I am going mildly crazy. Has my world been replaced with an alternate reality? Today I had an interesting conversation with someone who I don't know...
Girl: I'm glad we talked, you seem very nice
Me: Thanks.
Girl: I really should have known that you would have been nice though.
Me: Oh?
Girl: Yeah because you're, you know, padded
Me: *lifted eyebrows* oh, because I'm fat I'm nice?
Girl: Well listen, I have to go, nice talking to you.
WHAT?!?!?!? I have never in my life heard this. Well, I've never heard someone being called "padded". Maybe I that's why my cat likes laying on me so much, I'M PADDED! Plus, I've never heard that fat people are nicer than skinny people. Maybe we're happy because we're full?
I am apparently much fatter than I thought, need to speed my diet up! (by the way I'm down 3 to 4 sizes (depending on where I shop) since January 1st) I understand that people don't call people fat unless they are trying to be hurtful, but I would rather be called fat than padded. Quite frankly I don't mind being called fat. It doesn't bother me. I have heard it since third grade, it rolls off the back now. Sometimes I like to get people who think they are being hurtful, like so.
other person: fat ass!
me: *shocked SINCERE tone* what? I'm fat? Oh my god, I always said I would rather be stupid than fat! Have you wished the same thing?
other person: (one response) yeah! (other response) silence
me: (no matter what response) looks like God listened to your pleas.
Hahahaha, I crack myself up. Sadly, I could only use these gems on six or so occasions.
In all seriousness though, I do realize that obesity is one of America's top health problems, it's a problem in my own family. Only two people in my family are healthy, both of them male. I want to be the first female who is healthy. I have other reasons though. Reasons that people don't talk about. Like being able to fit into fashionable clothes, being able to shop with all my friends, and order a Big Mac (or the likes) without people giving you THAT LOOK. If you are fat you know the look I'm talking about, the "do you really need the LARGE fries?" look. It's almost laughable.
Once I was with my grandma and mom at the movies. My grandma likes her buttered popcorn a certain way, lots of butter. So we asked the cashier to put butter on it halfway through. Simple request. The lady in line next to my mom (who was ordering as well) decided to make a comment to her cashier. Her words? "Do you really think she needs the extra butter?". When has our country become so rude?
Shouldn't it be my choice (or my grandma's) to clog my arteries? The lady's cashier looked really uncomfortable when she made this comment, he ended up saying nothing. Part of me wanted to knock that lady out. HOW RUDE! *sighs* I'm lamenting on something that is in the past. The hard thing is that it happens everyday. So I know it may be the wrong reason, but I'm getting skinny so I don't have to deal with it.
= )
Soul
PS- I would like to add something. I am completely flipping hot. I dress well, buy nice clothes, shoes, etc. I always do my hair nicely, and make sure I shower and put deodorant on. I am flipping GORGEOUS!
PPS- aka I have very high self esteem
PPPS- Not mention my personality is kickass.
PPPPS- aka I'm quite a catch
PPPPPS- boys, leave your number in the comments and you could get with all of this!
PPPPPPS- I love myself, what a sense of humor I have
PPPPPPPS- I was kidding in the PPPPPS, not really...
I'm currently listening to Out of Line by The Bravery
I feel like I am going mildly crazy. Has my world been replaced with an alternate reality? Today I had an interesting conversation with someone who I don't know...
Girl: I'm glad we talked, you seem very nice
Me: Thanks.
Girl: I really should have known that you would have been nice though.
Me: Oh?
Girl: Yeah because you're, you know, padded
Me: *lifted eyebrows* oh, because I'm fat I'm nice?
Girl: Well listen, I have to go, nice talking to you.
WHAT?!?!?!? I have never in my life heard this. Well, I've never heard someone being called "padded". Maybe I that's why my cat likes laying on me so much, I'M PADDED! Plus, I've never heard that fat people are nicer than skinny people. Maybe we're happy because we're full?
I am apparently much fatter than I thought, need to speed my diet up! (by the way I'm down 3 to 4 sizes (depending on where I shop) since January 1st) I understand that people don't call people fat unless they are trying to be hurtful, but I would rather be called fat than padded. Quite frankly I don't mind being called fat. It doesn't bother me. I have heard it since third grade, it rolls off the back now. Sometimes I like to get people who think they are being hurtful, like so.
other person: fat ass!
me: *shocked SINCERE tone* what? I'm fat? Oh my god, I always said I would rather be stupid than fat! Have you wished the same thing?
other person: (one response) yeah! (other response) silence
me: (no matter what response) looks like God listened to your pleas.
Hahahaha, I crack myself up. Sadly, I could only use these gems on six or so occasions.
In all seriousness though, I do realize that obesity is one of America's top health problems, it's a problem in my own family. Only two people in my family are healthy, both of them male. I want to be the first female who is healthy. I have other reasons though. Reasons that people don't talk about. Like being able to fit into fashionable clothes, being able to shop with all my friends, and order a Big Mac (or the likes) without people giving you THAT LOOK. If you are fat you know the look I'm talking about, the "do you really need the LARGE fries?" look. It's almost laughable.
Once I was with my grandma and mom at the movies. My grandma likes her buttered popcorn a certain way, lots of butter. So we asked the cashier to put butter on it halfway through. Simple request. The lady in line next to my mom (who was ordering as well) decided to make a comment to her cashier. Her words? "Do you really think she needs the extra butter?". When has our country become so rude?
Shouldn't it be my choice (or my grandma's) to clog my arteries? The lady's cashier looked really uncomfortable when she made this comment, he ended up saying nothing. Part of me wanted to knock that lady out. HOW RUDE! *sighs* I'm lamenting on something that is in the past. The hard thing is that it happens everyday. So I know it may be the wrong reason, but I'm getting skinny so I don't have to deal with it.
= )
Soul
PS- I would like to add something. I am completely flipping hot. I dress well, buy nice clothes, shoes, etc. I always do my hair nicely, and make sure I shower and put deodorant on. I am flipping GORGEOUS!
PPS- aka I have very high self esteem
PPPS- Not mention my personality is kickass.
PPPPS- aka I'm quite a catch
PPPPPS- boys, leave your number in the comments and you could get with all of this!
PPPPPPS- I love myself, what a sense of humor I have
PPPPPPPS- I was kidding in the PPPPPS, not really...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
too flipping funny
Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet.
Then in the deafening silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total captivity, he says softly and seriously into the microphone …
“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies……”
Suddenly, from the front row of the venue and breaking the total silence, a voice yells out in a drunk Scottish brogue...
“Well, for fuck's sake, stop fookin doin’ it then!”
Then in the deafening silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total captivity, he says softly and seriously into the microphone …
“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies……”
Suddenly, from the front row of the venue and breaking the total silence, a voice yells out in a drunk Scottish brogue...
“Well, for fuck's sake, stop fookin doin’ it then!”
Boys
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Fences by Paramore.
(Actually I'm currently BLARING Paramore)
So, I'm a teenage girl and yes the stereotype that all we think/talk about is boys is definitely true. You want to know something else to? Size matters. hahaha, I love telling boys this, it is such a funny thing to see their reactions. anyways...
My ex-boyfriend and I don't talk. On a certain level it leaves me with a certain sadness but on the other hand I am fine with it. We dated pre-blog days so you don't get to read about the days I was so madly infatuated with him. Sorry. It's probably for your benefit because I'm pretty such it would have made you all throw up.
We were best friends before we started dating. I had a crush on him for a long time (two years) before we started dating. We really fit together. He could always make me laugh and he wasn't a typical boys boy. He played video games, hung out with his sisters, and was just a funny guy. He wasn't attractive by any means but as you may know the longer you are around someone they become more attractive.
I don't get to be immature, I am expected to be an adult. Which at 17 it is an understandable expectation. He on the other hand was very immature. Not really comfortable in his own skin either. I always maintained that I was too good for him, but his humor attracted me, I couldn't help it.
I should have known it was too good to last. It was awkward for him to put our relationship on display because we were friends for so long. I wanted to shout it from the roof. We approached the whole thing very differently. But it was handled, I was unhappy and we just dealt with it. I wanted to talk about it and he was not someone who talked about anything serious.
Then the horrid night came. We had hung out many times as a couple before our actual first date (dinner and a movie). We went a couple places where no money was exchanged, friends houses, parties, etc. Anyways, so i was excited about our "first official date". Then he complained about me "expecting him to pay". I was floored! Call me old fashioned, but I expect my boyfriend to pay on the first date. As well as anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Not to mention whenever he has the desire to. But the first date is definitely one of the times when the guy has to pay. Also, just to clarify, we went to Noodles and the movies, so all together the date cost him thirty/thirty-five dollars. For two people! I didn't even get popcorn or a drink at the theater. He did complain when I ordered a drink with dinner though. Saying he was going broke.
Two weeks later we broke up.
A week after that I found out that the reason he had such a problem paying was because...
"I'm richer"
Okay, let's just say this, I'm not fucking rich! I work a part-time job of which I put 70% away for my future. So I get (tops) 25 dollars a week. My belongings are graciously provided by my mom. I think it was a stupid reason, then, to top it off, I found out that his mom was the one who told him that I should be paying. What a great mother role model.
Sorry, this might have come off a little bitter, but I'm still a little sore on the subject...
= /
Soul
I'm currently listening to Fences by Paramore.
(Actually I'm currently BLARING Paramore)
So, I'm a teenage girl and yes the stereotype that all we think/talk about is boys is definitely true. You want to know something else to? Size matters. hahaha, I love telling boys this, it is such a funny thing to see their reactions. anyways...
My ex-boyfriend and I don't talk. On a certain level it leaves me with a certain sadness but on the other hand I am fine with it. We dated pre-blog days so you don't get to read about the days I was so madly infatuated with him. Sorry. It's probably for your benefit because I'm pretty such it would have made you all throw up.
We were best friends before we started dating. I had a crush on him for a long time (two years) before we started dating. We really fit together. He could always make me laugh and he wasn't a typical boys boy. He played video games, hung out with his sisters, and was just a funny guy. He wasn't attractive by any means but as you may know the longer you are around someone they become more attractive.
I don't get to be immature, I am expected to be an adult. Which at 17 it is an understandable expectation. He on the other hand was very immature. Not really comfortable in his own skin either. I always maintained that I was too good for him, but his humor attracted me, I couldn't help it.
I should have known it was too good to last. It was awkward for him to put our relationship on display because we were friends for so long. I wanted to shout it from the roof. We approached the whole thing very differently. But it was handled, I was unhappy and we just dealt with it. I wanted to talk about it and he was not someone who talked about anything serious.
Then the horrid night came. We had hung out many times as a couple before our actual first date (dinner and a movie). We went a couple places where no money was exchanged, friends houses, parties, etc. Anyways, so i was excited about our "first official date". Then he complained about me "expecting him to pay". I was floored! Call me old fashioned, but I expect my boyfriend to pay on the first date. As well as anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Not to mention whenever he has the desire to. But the first date is definitely one of the times when the guy has to pay. Also, just to clarify, we went to Noodles and the movies, so all together the date cost him thirty/thirty-five dollars. For two people! I didn't even get popcorn or a drink at the theater. He did complain when I ordered a drink with dinner though. Saying he was going broke.
Two weeks later we broke up.
A week after that I found out that the reason he had such a problem paying was because...
"I'm richer"
Okay, let's just say this, I'm not fucking rich! I work a part-time job of which I put 70% away for my future. So I get (tops) 25 dollars a week. My belongings are graciously provided by my mom. I think it was a stupid reason, then, to top it off, I found out that his mom was the one who told him that I should be paying. What a great mother role model.
Sorry, this might have come off a little bitter, but I'm still a little sore on the subject...
= /
Soul
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Warm Fuzzy Feelings
Hi Everyone!
I'm currently listening to Honey by Bonnie McKee!
So I love my life. I had a semi day off. I had stuff to do, lots of stuff, but I did not have the usual mundane-ness of school. I have been busy gathering information on all the lovely schools I want to (and don't want to) go to. It was definitely a surprising process in which I learned a lot. AUQUEL! (sorry, french lesson coming out in the blog)... All in all the information gathering was quite useful.
Well, on the topic of graduation and college and such... I am currently a junior (as I believe I previously stated) who has a lot of senior friends. Everyone says that the year you graduate is really difficult with friends leaving and everyone departing for new parts of their lives, but I think this year will be more difficult for me. Besides maybe four juniors the majority of my friends are seniors.
Onto Blogging news though. I apparently have one fan so far, http://trissteh.blogspot.com/ . Which gets me excited. I am happy to say though that I really enjoy her writing as well. I guess likes attract (opposing the popular saying). She has four separate blogs, but the one I gave you the link to has the most posts and in my opinion the most inspired ones as well. I'm glad I like the blog.
I guess that's about it. I think I'm going to research some more colleges and drink some water (I'm absolutely parched)!
= )
Soul
I'm currently listening to Honey by Bonnie McKee!
So I love my life. I had a semi day off. I had stuff to do, lots of stuff, but I did not have the usual mundane-ness of school. I have been busy gathering information on all the lovely schools I want to (and don't want to) go to. It was definitely a surprising process in which I learned a lot. AUQUEL! (sorry, french lesson coming out in the blog)... All in all the information gathering was quite useful.
Well, on the topic of graduation and college and such... I am currently a junior (as I believe I previously stated) who has a lot of senior friends. Everyone says that the year you graduate is really difficult with friends leaving and everyone departing for new parts of their lives, but I think this year will be more difficult for me. Besides maybe four juniors the majority of my friends are seniors.
Onto Blogging news though. I apparently have one fan so far, http://trissteh.blogspot.com/ . Which gets me excited. I am happy to say though that I really enjoy her writing as well. I guess likes attract (opposing the popular saying). She has four separate blogs, but the one I gave you the link to has the most posts and in my opinion the most inspired ones as well. I'm glad I like the blog.
I guess that's about it. I think I'm going to research some more colleges and drink some water (I'm absolutely parched)!
= )
Soul
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